I KNEW IT!

I just read this online- so its true!

Roger Federer is a cyborg.

Think about it. His game has no weakness. Federer is agile and in superb physical condition. He’s got great first and second serves. He is as deadly from the backhand side as with his forehand. He volleys well. He blends power with finesse, and turns strokes that most professionals would be lucky to merely return into winners.

Watching him effortlessly deploy these weapons is a joke, especially when he decides he will really assert control over a match. Even Pete Sampras, he of the record 14 Grand Slam crowns, could be worn down, especially on slower surfaces. There is no answer for Federer’s game. Andre Agassi, after falling to Federer in the 2005 U.S. Open final, conceded as much, calling Federer “the best he has ever competed against.”

There’s a reason for that, Andre. Federer is a machine created by the Swiss government.

Yes. He is the by-product of years of scientific innovation by a spiteful, wealthy European nation. Tired of being overlooked as a small, landlocked, politically neutral country for centuries, Switzerland developed this mechanized tennis prodigy in top-secret research labs in an attempt to grab a piece of the global spotlight.

It’s so obvious. Listen to Federer give an interview sometime. With a firm command of multiple languages, he will politely credit his opponents and modestly deflect attention from himself. So diplomatic. Almost too much so. It feels forced… robotic, even. The reason for his five losses this season, including the French Open final to Rafael Nadal?

Red herrings. Blips on the radar screen to throw us off. That, or the Swiss brain trust is still working out the bugs. Either way, there is clearly a plan in place, that being for Federer to usurp Sampras’ record and establish himself as the best to ever pick up a racket. This is a conspiracy.

I am glad I am not the only one who knows the TRUTH!